Be a man. Read this. Every damned day.

Shooting Yourself In The Foot

Okay, it was actually his thigh. But Plaxico Burress is now the one-stop comedy joke for the entire world. The Giants' wide receiver ACCIDENTALLY SHOT HIMSELF IN THE LEG while at a NYC nightclub over Thanksgiving break. With an unregistered gun. In public.

Is this guy being paid by the Giants to play football or to be the NFL's current doofus-at-large? Hiring this cretin has backfired on Big Blue in more ways than one. And I'm tired of having to defend a sport that insists on paying millions of dollars to guys who should be in jail with their pals Michael Vick and Ray Lewis.

Christ, the sheer amount of mental defectiveness in the NFL these days is almost enough to make you want to go watch women's fucking field hockey.


The Big Time

Okay, yes. I do Google myself. I've heard that a lot of people do it in their spare time. Even Bill Gates. But he crashes the Google mainframe when he does it.

Anyway, I found this, which kind of blew my socks off. Which is the only kind of thing that's getting blown around here in the few days before Thanksgiving and the girlfriend is off to see her folks in Detroit. Anyway, this is a seemingly respectable guy in New Jersey (okay, that's oxymoronic) trying to make some sense out of my whole pointy-shoes-on-hot-chicks bit in THE MAN BOOK.

Here's his take, but make sure you go to his blog and read the comments. We could be in the process of some serious research here. Thanks, John Bury. You're a smart guy . . . and a real man.

Read on.

In a subsection on picking up girls in "The Man Book" by Otto DeFay Mr. DeFay provides as a Helpful Hint the following:

You can tell how hot a girl thinks she is by how pointed her shoes are. It has nothing to do with the heels; it's all in the toes. The pointier the shoe, the sexier she thinks she is. A rounded-toe shoe means there's not a lot of self-confidence there. Use this to your advantage.

This got me to thinking.

Just previous I had been at a lecture where the attractive female speaker was wearing what I took at the time to be uncomfortable looking shoes on account of their pointedness. It's now something I'm noticing but before I get to setting Cartesian coordinates down on a scatter plot I thought I'd open it up to reasoned opinion and you people.

Mr. DeFay goes no further in justifying his claim. No footnotes nor references to unbiased studies. My theory is that the especially pointed shoes would attract attention initially and when the viewer inevitably looks up they would be panning the entire female form, as the wearer might have intended.

But if that were the sole reason then over-sized clown shoes would serve much better as an attention-grabber and have the benefit of comfort to boot (for maneuvering stairs and running, it's probably a push).

I know our economy is collapsing, corruption is rampant, we're at war with the world, and they're defining our debts in whatever comes after trillion but maybe if we can work out this riddle of human nature first everything else will begin to fall into place.

Or not.

Thanks for the shout out, John. Here's his blog.